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The One Person Who Knows Where Lebron James Is Going

SO like everybody else, I’ve been glued to my macbook bro anxiously guessing about where Lebron is going to play next season. Well unlike Stephen A Smith, Brian Windhorst, Chris (I hate gays) Broussard, Ian Begley, Ryan Rucco, and others, I CAN TELL YOU HOW WE CAN FIND THIS SHIT OUT TODAY. LIKE RIGHT-FUCKING-NOW.

NOW here is a still from a video that shows Lebron and Wade talking right after flying back to Miami from Las Vegas. They have to be talking about Lebron’s decision. What else in the world matters right now? And you have to assume that the decision has been made, they talked about it on the plane, and this is the wrap up of their conversation.

So either Wade is saying “Hey man, it was cool playing with you. I’m not a great player anymore so yeah dude go play in Ohio and play with younger people. I got three rings so honestly I don’t care about how the rest of my life goes.

OR he’s saying “Pretty awesome that you’re going to stay in Miami. I’m not a great player anymore so I’d totally understand why you’d wanna do to Ohio and win a championship there. I mean shit man, I GOT three rings so I don’t give a shit if I die tomorrow.”

One of those two things MUST have happened.

NOW of course D-Wade isn’t gonna tell the reporters what they talked about. And NOBODY is getting near Lebron until he announces his decision. So where are we gonna get the answers from? Cause I’ll be fucked if I’m going to wait for an announcement like every loser poor people parked outside Lebron’s mansion in Ohio. I pride myself on always knowing what’s going to happen before it happens. Somebody unaffiliated with the situation MUST have heard their conversation.

ENTER THIS FUCKING LADY!

This bitch walks into frame right after Lebron and Wade high five and say goodbye to each other. She was standing in the area the whole fucking time. She knows! She heard the convo! Somebody get a hold of this lady and do whatever you have to do. Threaten, punish, whatever! I haven’t been calling Lebron’s exotic car movers for the past 4 days just so I can find out when Lebron says it’s ok. Lebron doesn’t say when I can know things I SAY WHEN I CAN KNOW THINGS!

You have what you need. Now bring me that horizon.

(UPDATE)

Don’t do anything to the lady. Lebron just said he’s going to the Cavs.

I love Carmelo. I do I love him. I want him to have a championship more than anybody in the league. With or without the Knicks.

CHECK ME OUT IN THE NEW REAL ESTATE MUSIC VIDEO
REAL ESTATE: CRIME

I PLAY A VAMPIRE-SKATER! YAY!

CHECK ME OUT IN THE NEW REAL ESTATE MUSIC VIDEO

REAL ESTATE: CRIME

I PLAY A VAMPIRE-SKATER! YAY!

COME TO A VERY REAL SCREENPLAY READING @ LEGION BAR THIS SATURDAY AT 10PM
OOHHHH YEEEEAAAHHHH! OOOOOHHHH YYYYEEEAAAHHHH!!Alex French, Matthew Brian Cohen, Cory Palmer, and John Everett Trowbridge present a VERY SPECIAL READING of a VERY REAL SCREENPLAY. This is not a joke screenplay. It is real. It is about Hollywood. It is about friendship. It is about being a superhero, and tumble falls.This is gonna be a BIG HOLLYWOOD EVENT with special giveaways, red carpet photo opportunities, and a bunch of surprises!FEATURING THE VOICES OF:Alex FrenchCory PalmerMatthew Brian CohenJohn TrowbridgeBen WarheitCathryn MudonJohn Zachary TownsendMurf MeyerJackie JenningsDavid BluvbandJonathan MarballiJawnee ConroyKen BeckCaroline Cotter& MORE!

https://www.facebook.com/events/1459879334245257/?ref_newsfeed_story_type=regular

COME TO A VERY REAL SCREENPLAY READING @ LEGION BAR THIS SATURDAY AT 10PM

OOHHHH YEEEEAAAHHHH! OOOOOHHHH YYYYEEEAAAHHHH!!

Alex FrenchMatthew Brian CohenCory Palmer, and John Everett Trowbridge present a VERY SPECIAL READING of a VERY REAL SCREENPLAY. 

This is not a joke screenplay. It is real. It is about Hollywood. It is about friendship. It is about being a superhero, and tumble falls.

This is gonna be a BIG HOLLYWOOD EVENT with special giveaways, red carpet photo opportunities, and a bunch of surprises!

FEATURING THE VOICES OF:
Alex French
Cory Palmer
Matthew Brian Cohen
John Trowbridge
Ben Warheit
Cathryn Mudon
John Zachary Townsend
Murf Meyer
Jackie Jennings
David Bluvband
Jonathan Marballi
Jawnee Conroy
Ken Beck
Caroline Cotter
& MORE!

https://www.facebook.com/events/1459879334245257/?ref_newsfeed_story_type=regular